Tuesday, January 15, 2013

What...Do I Look LIke a Door Mat?? Day 6

 I know that today's post is a sensitive issue for some....but if we are going to have lives that reflect Christ, we have to accept all of His ways and not just a few. I will admit right off, that this topic was difficult for me as well, not so much anymore...but it took a while for me to get there on my journey.

What I am talking about? Wives submitting to their husbands. I can see you cringing already. This is not a popular belief, but it lines up with the Word of God and needs desperately to be brought into the light once again. Before I go further, let me clarify for you that submission is not being walked on by your husband, nor does it mean that it is ok for husbands to abuse their wives in any form. But, when we choose to submit, we are really more like Christ than at any other time.

Let's look at what the Word says.... 
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. ~ Ephesians 5:24-25
You see, marriage is actually a picture of Christ and His church. Christ is the head of the church, He gave Himself up to the cross for the sake of the church. He was tortured,  He was rejected, He was spit upon....He went through all of that to redeem mankind back to Himself. So when we say husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, that is not a light sentence they have been given. A man will sacrifice for his family until it hurts. When we see burning buildings, or tragic scenes, more often than not, we will see the men running in trying to save people. Not that there are not women who have done this, but it is more common to see the man do this act. Men oftentimes show their love by showing sacrifice. My sweetie is not big on lots of words when it comes to showing affection or love, but he will go without things that he needs in order that I have what I need or the children need. No one has to asks him to do it, it just seems to be part of who he is.

But for women, we don't want to talk about submission....remember yesterday, we all have that natural instinct to want to "win!" Someone has to step back and extend grace and many times this falls to the woman. Both of us cannot lead the marriage. My Dad used to say that anything with two heads is a monster. I don't want my relationship to look like that do you?

What does it look like to be submissive to your husband? Let me give you an example. Let's say you and your spouse are having a discussion where you just don't see eye to eye....a submissive wife will state her opinion calmly and respectfully to her husband, but the final decision will rest with him. Now a loving husband will take into consideration the opinion of his wife and look to what is best for the whole family, but the weight of the decision rests with him. 

Submission is a choice we make. We make that choice because of our desire to be obedient to God. I want to be obedient to Him in all that I do, so even when it is hard for me to step back sometimes, I have to remember that the reason I am doing this is because this is what God said is right for wives to do. It may not be what I want, it may feel like I am not the "winner" but I have to see the big picture of things. I have to trust that if I am faithful to God, that He is faithful to me. I have to believe that he works all things together for my good (Roman 8:28).
Do not feel that you are second class....You are not and not every argument is your fault. But there will be times when we communicate in every way possible, and our husbands still don't see things the way that we do.That's when we can honor God by stepping back in humility and letting our husbands take the lead. 

Today's Vow: To honor you as the head of our home
The Challenge: While you honor your husband as the head of your home, seek ways to encourage him in his role as a leader.
Praying for all of us today as we make this step on the journey....


  1. Submission IS a tough topic. It does make me squirm a little bit when I read about it in the Word or I hear it in a sermon. But one thing I've realized that makes it easier- because the final decision rests with our husbands, there's an incredible weight on their shoulders. I, for one, am glad I don't have that daily burden.

    1. It is a tough topic bc of what we have been conditioned to believe by society. Following the will of God for our lives many times is counter-cultural to the world. I will say that when I walk in His paths, as He designed them for me, I have more joy and peace in my life than ever before.

    2. "Counter-cultural"- You're definitely right about that!

  2. WOW, I HAVE TO SAY YOU REALLY SAID IT! YOU KNOW I THINK PEOPLE THINK OF SUBMISSION AS LOOSING, AND PEOPLE HATE TO LOOSE.... HOWEVER IT'S NOT IT IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT! I think when people get upset about submission it's simply because they don't understand what it really means in a marriage... I agree with you! Applaud you for writing this post!