Friday, January 4, 2013
In My Weakness, He is Made Strong
A common weakness among women is acting and reacting out of our emotions. We give it all kinds of excuses to justify it, but really it comes down to not listening to what God wants and forging ahead with our own self will. Allowing God to have control in my life over my emotions is something that I have been working on for a while....just because you feel it, you do not have to say it sort of a thing. About the time I think that I have been molded and shaped more into the image of God, something bigger, more difficult comes along and I am once again reminded of how far I have to go in this area.
I had such a situation arise over the holidays. Now we already know that the holidays in and of themselves are emotionally charged. Add all the other things going on in my life, plus this was the first "biggie" holiday without my Daddy and you have a recipe for disaster. It's a word, a look, a tone.....on that night, all my wisdom that I thought I had gained, flew right out the proverbial window. My feelings were hurt, so I attempted to express that hurt.....my feelings were met with anger and harshness from the other person.
I realized I was not angry at the other person, I was simply hurt. I prayed about it and was able to find forgiveness in my heart for them. But something continued to nag at me about it...........then I realized that I was more angry at myself than anything. Angry that I had allowed my emotions to rule, and not God's voice, angry that I had fallen prey to a trick of the enemy, angry that I had still not conquered this weakness.
Then I knew it was myself that I needed to forgive. I had to recognize my failures, my short-comings and know that in my weakness, He is made strong. Once again I surrendered my heart to Him, acknowledged weakness, and asked Him to continue to shape me, to mold me into His likeness. Then I knew that if I had not met with this fiasco, I would not have been aware of the growth that was needed in my own life.
I do believe I am gaining victory over my emotions, I am determined to not be ruled by my feelings but to hear God first before I act. I am an over-comer. My future is not hopeless, I am not a lost cause. Sometimes the situations are painful that shed light on our areas that need growth....it's just another step on the journey friends, I'm going to keep moving forward forgetting those things which are behind and pressing forward to what lies ahead Phil 3:13