Thursday, January 10, 2013

On to Day 2 of the Ultimate Marriage Vow

 So how are you doing with the marriage challenge? I found day one to be easy for me, after all carving out time for a moment of friendship with my spouse is something I want to do's challenge though is maybe not so easy for some, and maybe for others you will breeze right through.

As we go through this 21 day marriage challenge, I am including pictures of me and my sweetie and our journey together, hope you enjoy them! Today's pic is from Easter 2009 at my parents house....

Today we are talking about our thought know the more we dwell on a situation or problem the bigger the issue seems to be, and it becomes a cycle and a place that our mind automatically goes when we place it in the idle position. As Christians, first of all, we cannot afford to just let our minds idle along, we need to be intentional about out thought life. What does the Word say about our thoughts?

Philippians 4:8

King James Version (KJV)
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
So today when you think about your spouse, what are thinking of them? Do you only see their flaws or areas where improvement is needed? Or do you see a man that works hard for his family, that gives unsacrificially? Does his nagging habit of leaving his drink cup by the bed every night send you over the top? or do you see a man that even after working all day made some time for his children? It all depends on how you view it. 

Sometimes we get so caught up in the day to day routine of raising a family and making a living that we don't notice the beauty that is all around us. The things that God created, and yes that means your spouse, are beautiful. Your sweet one was fearfully and wonderfully made by God, created uniquely to be your companion for life. Sometimes we forget that, we don't notice the beauty that is evident in their smile, their laugh, their tenderness, their compassion, their understanding. My cousin shared a story the other day that he had read....

"A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?"
What areas of great beauty are we missing out on in our spouses?

I believe that the majority of us don't get out of bed with the intent to infuriate our spouse. I believe that for most of us, our intentions are good, we want to love like Christ, we want to see people (including our spouse), as God sees them. But sometimes, we fall into the trap of only focusing on flaws and bad habits, forgettting that we too have areas for improvement, weaknesses and shortcomings and that it is only the grace and mercy of God that keeps us from falling victim to those weaknesses. 

Today's Vow: To accept your flaws with understanding and grace as you also do mine.
Today's Challenge:
Keep negative thoughts in check by reminding yourself that we're all human saved only by the grace of God.

This is a big step on our journey but let's take it together,


  1. I wish I would have waited for God to choose my one and only, it probably would have worked. As for the story - I shared it twice the other day. It hit a deep spot. I'm so thankful I now find happiness in the here and now not hurrying and scurrying to get to "happy."

    1. Gladys, I am sorry things did not work out for your relationship. But I am also glad too that you find beauty where you go. Happiness is something that has to come from within

  2. Thank you for this post! I needed the reminder. It IS easy to focus on our spouse's flaws and forget all the amazing things about them, and MOST IMPORTANTLY forget about OUR flaws.

    1. I think sometimes we need to stop and remember that a marriage consists of two imperfect people redeemed by grace and mercy of Christ. It is funny we will forgive or overlook many things in people say at our church bc we feel they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. The truth is, so is our spouse....