Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day 4.....The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage Today

It's important that we realize that a very important part of our relationship with our spouses, is that we first have a relationship with God and that we are spending time with Him.

We have to realize that another person whether it is friend or spouse, is not going to bring us happiness. We first have to realize that happiness within ourselves, then that can spring outward and into our relationship.

Everyone gets nervous when we talk about spending time with God....let me put your anxieties to rest and tell you that you do not have spend hours on end reading's not about the amount that you are reading each day, or how long you prayed each day....but that you took some sort of time and talked to God, invited Him into your relationship, found a scripture or passage of scripture that speaks to you and where you are at today.

When sweetie and I first got married, we faced lots of obstacles....high risk pregnancy that was said to end in death for me and the baby, business failure, newly blended family, and the day to day business of living. When we faced these tasks, we tried to do it on our own, in our own strength, with our own intelligence. Can I just tell you that some days it was like a war zone in our home? There were days where we really did make steps to end the marriage. Insults were thrown around, things were done out of emotion, those were really dark days...I honestly did not believe we would survive or that the marriage would last. This went on for about 2 years.....then I met a couple who became like lifelines to us. With their help and guidance we were able to see that we had left God totally out of our lives. At that point, even though I had been raised in church, in a family that was full of faith, I felt like I did not even know how to get back on track with God. Now, they did not quote scripture to us everyday, they didn't make me feel like I had to pray for hours on end, they just steadily breathed life and friendship back into us. After several weeks, they started talking about how we needed God to come in the relationship and re-establish our hearts to make us more like Him.

It was a long process, it did not happen over night. We had setbacks along the way....when I look back at that time in our lives it feels like I am looking at two different people, strangers almost, compared to how we are now. We did come back to Christ. We did re-establish our priorities and our lives to line up with the Word. It was difficult, there were things in our hearts that were hard to give up. There were hurts and wounds that felt like they would never go away. But you know what, the closer I got to God, the better it felt my relationship with sweetie became. When I realized that my happiness did not depend on him, but instead depended on my relationship with God, it changed my entire outlook about marriage.

We had to learn to be intentional about finding time for God. That meant that maybe I needed to look at my schedule and see where my real time wasters see we do have time for God, but sometimes we choose not to use tidbits of time that we have to spend with Him. It was cold hard truth to realize that my time was being wasted on lots of things that I thought important. Bu,t there is nothing more important for my marriage than for me to be in the presence of God, receiving strength for the day, joy for the journey, and peace that He has all things in His control.

I am glad that I can tell you that today, we have a happy marriage. We still face life's challenges, just like all of you, but our relationship is solid because of our relationship with the King. He makes our foundation strong, He helps us to walk out our Biblical roles that He designed for us. His spirit saturates the relationship. His presence bring peace instead of turmoil, comfort in times of sorrow, eyes to see my sweetie through the eyes of Christ, a heart that instead of wanting to lash out at my life's companion wants to pray for him and wants to see my shortcomings revealed that are maybe contributing to the issue at the moment.

Your relationship with God is one of the absolute best things you can do for your will make you journey here so much sweeter...

Today's Vow: To Seek the Will of the Lord
The Challenge: Consider ways to invite Jesus into your marriage and make a conscious effort to pray for your husband often.



  1. You're absolutely correct! Seek the right relationship with God first and foremost, and that is our base for all other relationships. Great post!

  2. This is such a heartfelt post with some beautiful thoughts about marriage and spirituality and how having faith is so important. Thanks so much for sharing!

    1. Thanks for stopping by and giving it a read Lauren...I love hearing your opinion of my work!

  3. my marriage is not perfect but as you say, we need to make it a point that we can solve the problems we encounter.

    1. I don't think anyone, if they are honest, has the perfect marriage. I think all of us regardless of the stage of the relationship, are works in progress. It's hard for us to accept each others flaws...why? We have to start seeing each other through eyes of grace, working together for the betterment of each other. But, the great thing is, your marriage does not have to measure up to anyone else....and that takes a load off