His Mercies are New Every Morning

I was praying the other morning and I paused just to listen to hear what God was saying to me. It seems I do my best praying in the shower, I have no clue why that is. Probably that is the one moment of the day when I can be assured that I won't be interrupted....well at least 90% of the time I am uninterrupted.

So I am in the shower, praying. I have to admit that sometimes when I pray I feel like such a failure. It feels like all I am doing is just talking to God about my failures, my short comings, asking for help in different areas of my life. Tell me that I am not the only one that does this? But when I paused, I heard something in my heart. These were the words, "Regina, your failures do NOT define you." Then this, "My mercies are new EVERY morning." what a relief washed over me, I felt a freedom begin to swell inside of me.

I mean we all make mistakes, do the wrong thing, say the wrong words, have the wrong actions. We fall. Sometimes often in one day. And even though I had heard that verse my entire life, it became real to me in that moment. It was like God was saying, yes, you may have blown it, but you sought me for forgiveness for any wrong actions, now today is a new day, get up and continue moving forward. I realized that His mercy does not run out, it does not quit, it is new, it is enough for me, if I fail 1000 times, then 1000 mornings His mercy is new for me. I am not defined by the past mistakes of yesterday. I am more than that. I am not held in the grip of sin, I am FREE!!! I don't have to walk in lingering guilt or shame, I don't have to give place to that condemning voice that tells me I am unworthy, useless, scarred, broken. No! His mercy restores me daily. I am not in bondage to any of that. Life is good, even if I fall, even I fail, God has mercy. He is for me, He wants me to make it, He is cheering for me to get up and experience Him. Why? Because He loves me and wants to have communication with me. And the great thing.....He has  enough mercy and grace to cover not just me, but ALL of us. Come on y'all, let's move forward with another step!

 Where today do you need to experience that fresh mercy in your life? Open you heart to Him, confess your faults to Him, then experience MERCY and once you do, go out and share that mercy, that grace with everyone you meet! We are all the same. We are all facing obstacles. We all have moments we want to quit. All of us are fighting battles that others can't see, so extend that mercy to others today.

Walking with you on the journey,
Regina

I am HIS

  I am God's child....even when I mess up and do the things I don't want to do, I am still His child and He still loves me. Look guys, none of us get up in the mornings with the thought of intentionally doing wrong, causing pain or hurt. We don't wake up dreaming of being so angry that we lash out at others....but sometimes we do those things and worse. In those moments, God never quits loving you, He never gives up on you, His love endures forever!

It's just like our own children, they make mistakes as well....and sometimes they will lash out at us in anger. Do we stop caring for them, do we stop loving them, do we exchange them for a new child? No, we would never do that. That is the same way God cares about you.....

If you find yourself doing things that you know you shouldn't, and you feel that all is lost.....take comfort today....God still loves you and wants you to just turn around and run toward Him! He will wrap you up in His arms, He will listen to your cares, your frustrations, and anything else you are feeling because He cares so much for you today!

Walking with you on this journey,
Regina

photo credit: David Bowman 
contact@bowman-art.com

It is a Battle, but Your Opponent is NOT who You Think....

Just a note of encouragement today.....

when you are in a difficult situation with another person or groups of people, we have to remember that we are not battling against the person....

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

it is a MUST that we know this....it is so easy for all of us to see the person or group as our opponent, I guess that is our nature, we feel we must have a face to be against. We may have legitimate reson to be upset, angry, etc...but your fight is not against a flesh and blood person and the sooner we realize that and start praying against the spiritual force of evil, the sooner we will begin to see results.

let go today of the hurts and grudges, love the person and fight against our true enemy....


Walking this journey with you,
Regina

 Photo credit

Wordless Wednesday

What can One Person Do?

 We have been watching "The Bible" series on the History channel....it is awesome! If you haven't had a chance to watch it you should! The stories you have heard just come to life in the series....One thing that stands out to me is that one man with faith can change the course of events for not only their own families, but it impacts history for all time. Noah, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, ....they heard from the naysayers, there were people who opposed them, but yet they stood firm in what they believed that God had directed them to do. Abraham births a nations, Moses leads a nation, and David was a giant slayer. To see their stories re-enacted, makes my faith soar! One man or woman with faith is all it takes to see the hand of God move in the lives of not only those closest to us, but also, in the lives of those around us. God is looking for people that will stand with that sort of faith....uncompromising, believing in the face of impossible situations. Today, what has God spoken to your heart? Step out in faith, you never know the lives that will be changed because of your obedience.....

Walking with you on this journey,
Regina

What if You Miss the Will of God?

  If you find yourself realizing that somewhere along the way you have missed the will of God for your life, there is no need to despair. We make mistakes...we are human, we are flawed individuals. But, it seems the mindset of many is this....that when we "step out of the will of God" that all of a sudden everything is lost....

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Surely the God we serve is much bigger than our mistakes. We get so hung up on what we didn't do, or what we said or didn't say....we think back over bad choices that now we see was perhaps not God's plan for our lives. You know, God can work in any circumstance! True, we may have missed it along the way, but God can take our failures, turn them around, and use them to minister to others, bringing light and life to someone else, and at the same time restoring us back to a right relationship with Him.

When you feel that you failed, or you realize you have done wrong, God does not suddenly fall off of His throne, instead, He once again extends grace and mercy.  Your mistakes, your shortcomings, your weaknesses, these are the reasons that God sent His son to die on the cross.....to bring victory to the areas in life where we need it the most.

We have all failed, and we may do so again....when you realize it, just stop...ask God for forgiveness, admit your mistake, and ask Him to turn the situation around so that others can see His light shine in you. The God we serve is big, He is all powerful....He is not limited by man's abilities or weaknesses. He can work "all things together for our good" 

Walking with you,
Regina

In the Garden

  Easter is just a few weeks away.....and with that our focus turns to the crucifixion and resurrection of our Savior.

I was thinking over the weekend about Jesus praying in the garden, how that He said to His Father, to let this cup pass....in other words, was there another way to do this? His spiritual side knew what had to be done, and He was willing. But, the physical man was looking at an almost insurmountable task. I think that this is where we can most identify with Christ. Many times we too face very difficult obstacles. We would rather have it another way.....we know what our responsibilities are, but if there was a different solution that was just as good, maybe we could do that instead.

When the Bible states that Jesus knows all about mans afflictions and emotions, you see, He really does. When Jesus prayed to the Father about going to the cross, He demonstrated for us that we really are to cast our cares on Him.....He let us know by His example that it is ok to tell God how you feel and what you are thinking. Never be afraid to just talk to God.....He is listening and He cares!

Then we see Jesus, say to His Father, "not my will but yours be done." Yes, it was a hard road ahead, but He submitted over His own feelings to the will of God. He went to cross and because of His submission and obedience, a way for salvation was made. 

Are you in a garden spot today? Are difficulties looming ahead of you? What are the things that you need to turn over to God? Are you struggling with your will versus God's will?  Jesus really does understand and He cares for you! He knows how you feel and He is with you through it all!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

Turning Rocks into Bread

Last night I was reading the book, "God's Story Your Story: When His Becomes Yours" by Max Lucado. It had been a stressful day it seemed, with one bit of bad news after another....I thought it would never end! So I sat down to read to hopefully be inspired by something I came across.

In the chapter I was reading, Lucado begins to talk about when Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted by satan. He was making the point how  the enemy always hits us at our weakest point, our weakest moment in life. Jesus had been fasting for 40 days, he was hungry, so satan tempts Jesus by preying on the physical hunger and tells Him to turn the rocks into bread. Of course Jesus defeats him by using the Word.

You may be asking, 'Yes Regina, we know the story, what's the point?' The point is this, what are we hungry for? What are our weaknesses? Whatever it is, satan will use that against us, making us think that we have to turn rocks to bread, that we have to come through the situation or circumstance on our own, that we have to fulfill the desires of our own heart....this proves to be impossible for us, then we feel anxious, not good enough, that we have failed. We then begin to pray to turn the rock to bread.....this uses up all of our energy and feeds into our distractions. We are so busy trying to do something that God has not asked of us, that we lose sight of what we are supposed to be doing in the first place.....we have to learn that we don't have to meet our own needs so to speak, that they are supplied by the Creator, that we can rest in that....then we experience peace in the face of difficulty, calmness in the presence of troubled waters....we have to learn to let go, God is not requiring anyone to turn rocks to bread, He is only asking that we rely fully on HIM

Walking with you on this journey,
Regina



                                                                                      image source

Super Bowl...just a game??

 
 Picture source

Many of us are gearing up for a big weekend...Superbowl parties, hanging out with friends, great food...sounds amazing! There is something else that comes in on the heels of the Superbowl...Human Trafficking.

"The Super Bowl is a huge human trafficking event,” said State Sen. Randy Head, (R-Logansport). “They’re running sophisticated rings -- trading girls from city to city.”

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/02/human-trafficking-law-passes-before-super-bowl/#ixzz2JfEsjpWO

" Organized criminals are known to exploit young women and children through gatherings such as the Super Bowl. In fact, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children estimates 10,000 prostitutes were brought to the 2010 Super Bowl in Miami. In 2011, more than 100 people were arrested for prostitution in Dallas during Super Bowl weekend."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/02/human-trafficking-law-passes-before-super-bowl/#ixzz2JfF8LcO3

This has to STOP! Human trafficking is modern day slavery. In fact there are more people in slavery now than there has ever been in history. It is estimated that there are 27 million people in slavery today. Here are some other statistics...

 LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The numbers may shock you.

NUMBER OF VICTIMS AT ANY GIVEN TIME ....2.4 MILLION

PERCENTAGE OF VICTIMS EXPLOITED FOR SEXUAL SLAVERY ....80 PERCENT

NUMBER OF VICTIMS EXPLOITED AS FORCED LABOR (SLAVES) ....17 PERCENT

RATIO OF FEMALE TO MALE SLAVES (Including Children) .... TWO OF THREE

ANNUAL VALUE OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING IN DOLLARS ....$32 BILLION

AVERAGE COST OF ONE HUMAN SLAVE ....$90 USD

ODDS OF RESCUE ....ONE CHANCE IN ONE HUNDRED

Source:  http://www.catholic.org/hf/faith/story.php?id=45587

Indiana earlier this month did pass legislation to make it tougher on the ones selling people into slavery and on the ones doing the buying.....but that all does no good if the rest of us bury our heads in the sand, someone has to be aware of these victims. When we see something that is not quite right, what do we do? look the other way??? We have to be more active, we can no longer sit back passively in our comfortable homes, with our comfortable lives....how can we rest at night knowing that there are young children, teens, and other adult men and women being forced into doing things that are inhumane???? Does it make you uncomfortable at all?? If it does not, you need to check your consciousness.

I will admit I do not have all the answers to this problem. I am at a loss, I feel inadequate. I want these people freed and returned to their homes! I cannot allow my feelings of inadequacy to make me take a passive seat. All of us can do SOMETHING! We can be a voice! We can get this issue in the face of the nation. We can bring attention to it through our social sites, we can write letters to rescued victims, we can organize our churches, our groups, our families, to gather supplies of personal hygiene items to be taken to the shelters set up for when we do rescue one. We can keep our eyes open to our surroundings...and yes we can pray, but WE are the hands and feet of Christ, here on earth...so we need actions behind our prayers. What is your congressmen, state, and local government doing to combat this problem? You don't know? Then it is time you found out, write them! They work for US!!!!!!!

What are the signs you ask if someone is being trafficked?

Common Work and Living Conditions: The Individual(s) in Question

• Is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes
• Is under 18 and is providing commercial sex acts
• Is in the commercial sex industry and has a pimp / manager
• Is unpaid, paid very little, or paid only through tips
• Works excessively long and/or unusual hours
• Is not allowed breaks or suffers under unusual restrictions at work
• Owes a large debt and is unable to pay it off
• Was recruited through false promises concerning the nature and conditions of his/her work
• High security measures exist in the work and/or living locations (e.g. opaque windows, boarded up windows, bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.)

Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior

• Is fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, or nervous/paranoid
• Exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement
• Avoids eye contact

Poor Physical Health

• Lacks health care
• Appears malnourished
• Shows signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture

Lack of Control

• Has few or no personal possessions
• Is not in control of his/her own money, no financial records, or bank account
• Is not in control of his/her own identification documents (ID or passport)
• Is not allowed or able to speak for themselves (a third party may insist on being present and/or translating)

Other

• Claims of just visiting and inability to clarify where he/she is staying/address
• Lack of knowledge of whereabouts and/or do not know what city he/she is in
• Loss of sense of time
• Has numerous inconsistencies in his/her story

If you see these signs, please call National Human Trafficking Resource Center hotline at 1-888-3737-888 to report the situation.

 Source: http://www.polarisproject.org/human-trafficking/recognizing-the-signs

Another eye opener or a place to start is to know what products are being made by people that are in forced labor conditions. Go to www.slaveryfootprint.org/survey/ to find out just how many slaves had to work for you in order for you to have the things in your life. It will shock you! Another eye opener for me was the movie "Blood Diamonds" it will give you an eye into how this works, and how it affects the American population. You can also check out A21 Campaign to find links of how to help, resources, etc....

You may think that your efforts are not important....but what if all through history, our forefathers had believed that...where would we be? You CAN make a difference. We CAN beat this!

Regina

 

Cooking and Cleaning Only? No it Goes Much Deeper Than That! Day 14 of the Marriage Challenge

Keeper of the home....what exactly does that mean to you?

Let's go to the Word...

  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5

Strong's concordance defines "keeper" this way

1) caring for the house, working at home

   a) the (watch or) keeper of the house

   b) keeping at home and taking care of household affairs

   c) a domestic

A keeper is not just the person that cooks and cleans the house...though that is important...but she WATCHES over the house. What does that mean?

She is aware of the things going on inside the home. She knows who her children's friends are, and the types of families they come from. She is conscious of the friends that she is around, who is speaking into her life.  She is aware of the different types of media coming into and out of her home and does it uphold the standards that she and her husband have set forth for their family.  She is sensitive to when there is trouble brewing on the horizon.  She is like a watchmen on the wall...a guard. I like to think of it as the role of gatekeeper...nothing comes in or out unless it goes through me first.

Girls, in today's society we have to embrace our role as "keeper" diligently. Our families are too precious a commodity to let life just happen.

The Vow: To Guard the Castle from Harm The Challenge: While you're keeping an eye on the home to see who's coming and going, take time out to pray. Ask God to protect your family from harm and to help you to encourage them in the faith.

Walking with you on the journey,Regina

True Love....where has it gone? Day 13 of the Ultimate Marriage Vow

Thinking about marriage and companionship today....and what that looks like. I think about marriages where one spouse is very sick and the dedication that is involved, the day to day managing of an illness, the toil that takes on a person.

My parents were married almost 59 years when my Daddy had to go see Jesus. He and my Mom were just teenagers when they married. Daddy was 19 and Momma was 18. Two kids that grew up together. When they took their vows all those years ago, they meant them...and they meant them for life and whatever that entailed. They faced difficulties, crop failure, loss of loved ones, sick kids, all of the day to day issues that the rest of face. They were not super-heros (well, I guess to me they were), but they stood by their word. They had made those vows......

For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part

and they meant them. There was no going back, they were committed. It was a beautiful love story.

In the end, when Daddy's condition was getting worse. She stood by his side. She got up with him at night and stayed with him until he went back to sleep. She got tired I am sure, she prayed for healing I know. She never gave up on him, she never acted as if it was burden on her to care for him. She was his companion. And, she was with him when he took his last breath. She was devoted to the end.

That to me, is true love....true love does not run in the face of adversity, true love does not give up on you, and even though the body grows weary, true love will keep standing by your side, doing the things for you that cannot do for yourself, picking you up when you need it, helping you stand when you cannot, it is the shoulder you lean on when life gets too much, and it is the hand you reach for when you need to know you are not alone......

Today's Vow: To Walk Through This Life With You
The Challenge: If your husband is sick, troubled or weary be a companion that remains by his side. And if not? If all is going well in your lives? Praise God for the blessings upon you. 

Walking this journey with you,
Regina

Can You HEAR Me Now??

We all want to be heard.

In fact we want to be heard so much that many times while another person is speaking, we are busy formulating our response, our solution, our words of wisdom.

Do you do this with your spouse? Sweetie and I have both had to learn that what we really want from each other is to know the other person is listening....without judgement, without an answer.

When we do that, it shows the other person, that we are present in the moment. They have our attention and we hear them.

Listening, many say, is an art...I would go further to say it is almost a gift. If you rearrange the letters in LISTEN, you get SILENT.

Learn to accept that silence, and really hear the heart of the other person speaking.

The Vow: To Listen in the Best Way I Know How
The Challenge: Practice listening with both ears. Let go of things that are on your mind so that you can  be in the moment.

 Photo Credit

Walking With You on the Journey,
Regina

I Love You

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  "I Love You"

How often do we hear those words, how often do we say those words? When we are teenagers, or even single adults, we will utter those three words to our significant other flavor of the week.....we say them so casually, then many times we want to take them back, say we were mistaken, we didn't mean it.

Why is that? We have a head knowledge of love, but we don't yet have a heart understanding. We have to move that knowledge that we have about love down into our hearts, into our being. Remember, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...we cannot forget that. Our words have weight and when we say these words to our spouses, they need to come from the very core of our being. They need to know that we love them, that we are in this for the long haul, that difficulties will not make us run....I read a poem by Elisabeth Elliot (Read about Elisabeth here ) and it really gives insight to Love...

"This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience
- it looks for a way of being constructive.

Love is not possessive.

Love is not anxious to impress
nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own ideas.

Love has good manners
and does not pursue selfish advantage.

Love is not touchy.

Love does not keep account of evil
or gloat over the wickedness of other people.
On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.

Love knows no limits to its endurance,
no end to its trust, no fading of its hope;
it can outlast anything. It is, in fact,
the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.”

― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

 The Vow: To Love you
The Challenge: Find a special way--an out of the ordinary kind of way--to tell your husband you love him. Write him a note? Send him a text? Make him a card? You choose because you know him best.

Walking With You on the Journey,

Regina

Lovin' the Weekend Blog Hops

Thanks for stopping by our Lovin' the weekend blog hops! This is a great chance to share giveaways, gain followers and build readership. If you follow me, leave me a message letting me know, and I'll follow back! Regina

Welcome to Lovin' The Weekend Blog Hops with your co-hosts:

Karen from Tots and Me, Maria from Adventures of the Mommy Homemaker and Rena from An Ordinary Housewife.

Thank you to every one who has stopped by, whether this is your first visit or you have been a faithful ongoing participant! 

We would love for you to stop by each of the co-hosts and follow us, then feel free to add your links to any or all of the following linkies.

 We also randomly choose a Featured host each week from the Lovin' The Readers linky. This week we are featuring Regina from I Wouldn't Trade Nothing For My Journey Now.

Here's what she has to say:

"I started blogging at the end of 2011, but really got into it in January of 2012 after my Dad died. I have always been one to journal my feelings, so a blog seemed like a natural fit for me. One of the reasons I blog is because I feel in my heart that God has given me things to say. I would lay in bed trying to go to sleep and the words would just roll over and over in my mind. I finally started writing them down. I have had people tell me that they were contemplating suicide, or divorce, having a bad day, different things like that, and then they would read something I wrote and it would make a difference in their lives, or in their way of thinking about a situation. That's why I blog, I want to make a difference in people's lives. The majority of my writing is scripture based and hopefully found to be inspirational and encouraging. I want people to know they are not alone, that there is someone else going through similar circumstances. I enjoy blogging, I have made several friends and I have readers that come back day after day. I love when I get comments on something I have written.....that makes me feel good about what I am doing. The title of my blog is "I Wouldn't Trade Nothing for My Journey Now" and that is how I feel, that even though there have been hard times, difficulties, but also awesome days and beautiful frienships, I wouldn't trade anything about my journey....

I am 42y/o, married to Frank and together we have 5 children. Two are grown and the younger three live at home. I am a home school Mom. I love to cook, do crafts, sing, play the piano (I have played since I was 7, I play be ear mainly), and I really love movies!"

Don't forget to link up to the Lovin' the Readers Hop if you would like a chance to be a Featured host next week. Please comment with a way to contact you, especially if there is not an obvious way mentioned on your blog. We would love to include a little write up about you and your blog in the next week's Lovin' The Weekend Blog Hop post, including a link to your blog. And you will get to include the linky codes on your blog. Sound fun? We're looking forward to getting to know our readers better.

Here's how this blog hop works. We would appreciate it if you would follow Tots and Me, Adventures of a Mommy Homemaker and An Ordinary Housewife then please head on over to our Featured Host and follow as well. If you no longer have GFC please follow in some other way. After that there are three different linkies you can link to. Whichever one you choose to link to, please grab that button and share it on your blog (the codes are on Tot's and Me's sidebar). We'd love it if you could tweet or in some other way share about this blog hop, the more people who know about it, the more potential visitors and new followers of your blog. We'd love to meet some new friends this weekend.  

Some people are more interested in just increasing their numbers, while others really want people who appreciate their blog and want to keep up with their posts. So, there are two separate linkies. The third linky is for you to link up your giveaways.

If you are interested in increasing the number of followers to your blog via GFC, Linky Followers, email, Twitter, Facebook or Google+ link up here. We will follow you back if you follow us (just note which one you are linking to):

If you are interested in gaining followers to your blog who will read and comment and truly find an interest in your blog, link up here:

If you have family friendly giveaways to link up, here's your spot. Please make sure to include an end date for your giveaway.

We are so glad you stopped by. Please leave a comment if you link up and we will be sure to stop by and follow back.

Don't forget to check out my "Blog Hops" page for other great weekend blog hops!!

HIS Reputation....is it really THAT Important? Day 8

  Yesterday we talked about how we hold our husbands hearts in our hands. Today we want to go a step further and talk about how we can protect our husbands reputation. Have you ever confided something to someone only to have them use that against you or to make fun of you? It hurts doesn't it.

Have you ever done that same thing to your spouse? Let's look at this verse.....

 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. ~ Ephesians 4:29

I love this verse, because not only does it build up the one we are speaking about, but also ministers grace to whomever hears it. So as I am speaking good things, edifying things, about my husband, grace is being ministered to me as well.....that is awesome!

Let me point out that when we seek Godly counsel because we are looking for ways to heal the relationship is very different than sitting around discussing our husbands faults, ways that he has failed, or how he has caused us pain. It is important when we are facing big trials in our relationship to remember this, but it is also equally important when we looking at those small things that seem to get under our skin at times. We are human, our husbands too, and we make mistakes. Today you may be walking tall, everything going your way, life is good, but tomorrow could be a different story. And should we fall, we will be looking for grace and redemption to pull us back up.   

Today's Vow: To Protect Your Reputation

The Challenge: Whether you're talking to your friends, your family, or your children, protect your husband's reputation by being careful with the words that you choose.

Walking with You on the Journey
Regina

Day 7: Reverence My Husband..does that just mean at Home or all the Time?

  Reverence...what does that word mean to you? Honor, esteem, deep respect for, to treat with regard. The Bible says that wives reverence their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). How do we do that?

Many times I see women who are respectful to their husbands at home, but when they are out at their job, with their friends, or on the internet....the respect that they say they have just does not come through in their actions. It is so easy when we are around a group of women and someone begins talking about her husband, his failures, weaknesses, the other women more often than not seem to jump on the bandwagon and "one up" each other with just how ridiculous their husbands are. Well girls, that is not respect. That is not reverance. Now I will be the first to tell you that it is not easy to be the one that says, enough, but if you don't take a stand then who will? Remember, out of  the heart the mouth speaks.

In our culture today it is promoted through media that the male is dumb, not able to figure things out on his own, that he is weak somehow, that he is a loser...oftentimes our culture has a poor view of males. If we are not careful, we will take those images into our hearts and before you know it we will see our spouses in the same light. We cannot let that happen! We must be intentional about the things we are taking in to our homes through different media outlets. Are the things we are watching and reading upholding the standards we say we have?

What about you and your circle of friends and family? Do you tell things on your life's mate just to get a laugh? Do you point out his flaws to your friends?  Are you only respectful through lip service and that feeling does not really convey what is in your heart? When we speak or have any action, we are doing one of two things, we are either building our relationships up or we are tearing them down.

Men often equate respect with love...women are the opposite, they equate affection and romance with love. But we have to understand that these things work together in a cycle... I can tell you from my own experience that the more I show reverence to my husband, the more it seems that he showers me with love and affection.  The more he showers me with love and affection, the more I show him respect.

But, we cannot just show respect without having it in our hearts first. If you try it any other way, it will fail. Let me also point out to you, the scripture does not say only show reverence when he deserves it, we are to reverence our husbands whether or not we feel it, and whether or not we think they  deserve it.

Girls, we hold our husbands hearts in our hands....how we treat them and speak about them in public arenas says a lot about how we truly feel about them. Your husband needs to know that his heart is safe with you....it's something we need to take seriously not just in private settings, but in public as well.

Today's Vow: To speak well of you in front of others
The Challenge: Look after your husband's heart, particularly by looking after his honor in  public settings. 

Walking with you on this journey,
Regina

Out of the Abundance of the Heart....

  We have probably all heard that out of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45)...It is important that our communications are pure. Many times the heart (soul) is compared to a garden. Now, I am not much of a gardener, but my Mom always was. She loves to grow things, her flowers are beautiful, the vegetable garden was always a success and we ate out of its abundance throughout the fall and winter.

Well, that abundant garden did not just take place overnight. It took work. We had to break up the soil, removing any large rocks or debris that would impede the growth of the plants. This meant that on Saturdays when I would have loved to sleep in, she had other plans....we worked on the garden. But, if we left those objects in the dirt, the roots of the plants that we wanted to grow would not be able to go down deep enough into the soil where the nutrition was found. Then after it was planted we had to keep it watered. We also had to go in there and pull out or till out any weeds. For a teenage girl, this seemed like really hard work at the time. But the benefits of our garden was amazing! Vegetable soup made with the fresh veggies we had raised. Big, red, juicy tomatoes, that just made a burger sing.....

It's the same way with our hearts. When we have weeds in our hearts that are not bringing life to us, we need to get rid of those roots. What kinds of things are there that do not bring life? I am sure we could all name several....bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, pride, anger, self-righteousness...these things do not bring life to us or to any one around us. A pure heart loves others with only the very best of intentions.

In order to have a pure heart, we have to keep our hearts in check. We have to be intentional about the types of things we are taking into our hearts, because once we have "weeds" they have a tendency to get out of control and take over our gardens.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. - Proverbs 4:23

Today's Vow: I Will Love You With a Pure Heart
The Challenge: Keep the lines of communication open so that you can talk with your husband about the things that are on your heart. Nip anger in the bud by letting go of it instead of allowing it room to grow.

One of my blogging friends pointed out to me that these characteristics we are trying to bring into our lives not only apply to marriage, but can be carried over to our other relationships as well. I was glad she pointed that out....I like to think that anything we are learning can have multiple facets. When you learn to take things that you have heard and experienced and apply to other situations, that is wisdom...Thanks Gladys for reminding us of that.

 Be Blessed!

Regina

What...Do I Look LIke a Door Mat?? Day 6

 I know that today's post is a sensitive issue for some....but if we are going to have lives that reflect Christ, we have to accept all of His ways and not just a few. I will admit right off, that this topic was difficult for me as well, not so much anymore...but it took a while for me to get there on my journey.

What I am talking about? Wives submitting to their husbands. I can see you cringing already. This is not a popular belief, but it lines up with the Word of God and needs desperately to be brought into the light once again. Before I go further, let me clarify for you that submission is not being walked on by your husband, nor does it mean that it is ok for husbands to abuse their wives in any form. But, when we choose to submit, we are really more like Christ than at any other time.

Let's look at what the Word says.... 

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. ~ Ephesians 5:24-25

You see, marriage is actually a picture of Christ and His church. Christ is the head of the church, He gave Himself up to the cross for the sake of the church. He was tortured,  He was rejected, He was spit upon....He went through all of that to redeem mankind back to Himself. So when we say husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, that is not a light sentence they have been given. A man will sacrifice for his family until it hurts. When we see burning buildings, or tragic scenes, more often than not, we will see the men running in trying to save people. Not that there are not women who have done this, but it is more common to see the man do this act. Men oftentimes show their love by showing sacrifice. My sweetie is not big on lots of words when it comes to showing affection or love, but he will go without things that he needs in order that I have what I need or the children need. No one has to asks him to do it, it just seems to be part of who he is.

But for women, we don't want to talk about submission....remember yesterday, we all have that natural instinct to want to "win!" Someone has to step back and extend grace and many times this falls to the woman. Both of us cannot lead the marriage. My Dad used to say that anything with two heads is a monster. I don't want my relationship to look like that do you?

What does it look like to be submissive to your husband? Let me give you an example. Let's say you and your spouse are having a discussion where you just don't see eye to eye....a submissive wife will state her opinion calmly and respectfully to her husband, but the final decision will rest with him. Now a loving husband will take into consideration the opinion of his wife and look to what is best for the whole family, but the weight of the decision rests with him. 

Submission is a choice we make. We make that choice because of our desire to be obedient to God. I want to be obedient to Him in all that I do, so even when it is hard for me to step back sometimes, I have to remember that the reason I am doing this is because this is what God said is right for wives to do. It may not be what I want, it may feel like I am not the "winner" but I have to see the big picture of things. I have to trust that if I am faithful to God, that He is faithful to me. I have to believe that he works all things together for my good (Roman 8:28).

Do not feel that you are second class....You are not and not every argument is your fault. But there will be times when we communicate in every way possible, and our husbands still don't see things the way that we do.That's when we can honor God by stepping back in humility and letting our husbands take the lead. 

Today's Vow: To honor you as the head of our home
The Challenge: While you honor your husband as the head of your home, seek ways to encourage him in his role as a leader.

Praying for all of us today as we make this step on the journey....
Regina

Day 5....Winners and Losers

Make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you
to the interests of the others.

~ Philippians 2:2-4

 

 How does this relate to our marriage relationships? That is what we want to look at today and how that relates to our communication in marriage. 

Many times I have heard women talk about "winning" an argument with their spouse. We want to be "right" regardless of the damages that may occur in the process. But, when it comes to marriage, we are both on the same team, so their are no winners or losers. It's one thing to want your opinion to be understood, but, we confuse that with the need to be right at times....those are two different things. 

We have to be willing to extend grace and mercy to each other...remember day 1, we are both flawed people only redeemed by the grace of God. Someone has to take the high road, someone has to drop out of the argument and go to God with it in prayer, in doing so we let go of our anger and our need to be right.


Today's Vow: To Give Up My Need to Be Right
The Challenge: Let your voice be heard, but put down any weapons of warfare. Practice holding your tongue when you're angry and carrying your burdens to prayer.

 Remember, that while we have the best intentions of taking these challenges, we are still very much a work in progress. We make mistakes, but don't let that make you stop trying to take steps to improve your marriage....

Be Blessed!
Regina 

Our Journey This Week

This week was amazing! Here is what it looked like at our house...

Family Life: On Monday night the BCS game was on and Alabama was playing. Sweetie is from Alabama so of course we were watching. Our oldest son and grandson came over to watch it as well. I made some fun foods... Read my You've Got to Try This post.....Our little grandson is about to turn 4. We had a blast playing with him...Hot Wheels, coloring, games, snacks...it was a great night.

Homeschool: On Tuesday we started back with schooling. We accomplished so much this week. My middle guy is making great progress in Pre-Algebra. He also had two projects this week, one was to make a poster against the pollution of oceans regarding the Antarctic Fur Seal and debris collars. The other one was find out all that he could about the state of New York for geography class and make a presentation. He did a fantastic job on both. My baby girl continued learning new letters and the sounds they make when placed with vowels, read sentences, learned how to express a question, learned more addition facts, counting by 10s, and handwriting. To review different concepts she has learned, I made a squirrel out of some dark brown cardstock and some acorns out of another shade of brown. If she recognized the letter, sound, blend or word, she then got to hunt for an acorn in the living room and "feed" it to the squirrel. She thought it was a lot of fun.

Food: we made this awesome Gooey Chocolate Skillet cake. It was amazing served with with vanilla bean ice cream and caramel sauce. That night my middle guy cooked spaghetti for dinner for the family and I prepared fried cabbage with bacon and onion....it was a feast!

 this taste as good as it looks

 this one could have been meal in itself!


Marriage: Right now we are taking the 21 day Ultimate Marriage Challenge...See Day One Here. We just finished Day 4 (Day 2, Day 3, Day 4). See the links if you want to follow along, it will really make a difference in your relationship!

 What I am Working on Now: Back in the fall I found this bulletin board about the size of a small blanket throw, at the thrift store. I bought it for $10 with the intention of turning it into a flannel board for school. I finally found a flannel blanket just the right size yesterday at the same thrift store for $2, which I bought. I got a can of spray adhesive, and covered the board last night. I also stopped at the Hob Lob where they have felt squares for 4/$1...I purchased lots of colors. So, my plan is to cut the numbers, letters, math signs, and objects out of the felt so that during lessons, baby girl can have hands on activities to concrete what is being taught. I need some of them by tomorrow but I am in the middle of a fibro flare, and not able to really cut things out right now. My hope is that I will get it done before bed....I will keep you posted!

 

Looking forward to next week, when we continue on with the Ultimate Marriage Vow, I hopefully find new recipes to treat my family too, and we continue on the journey in home education...

I hope you have a great Sunday afternoon!

Regina

Day 4.....The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage Today

It's important that we realize that a very important part of our relationship with our spouses, is that we first have a relationship with God and that we are spending time with Him.

We have to realize that another person whether it is friend or spouse, is not going to bring us happiness. We first have to realize that happiness within ourselves, then that can spring outward and into our relationship.

Everyone gets nervous when we talk about spending time with God....let me put your anxieties to rest and tell you that you do not have spend hours on end reading scripture...it's not about the amount that you are reading each day, or how long you prayed each day....but that you took some sort of time and talked to God, invited Him into your relationship, found a scripture or passage of scripture that speaks to you and where you are at today.

When sweetie and I first got married, we faced lots of obstacles....high risk pregnancy that was said to end in death for me and the baby, business failure, newly blended family, and the day to day business of living. When we faced these tasks, we tried to do it on our own, in our own strength, with our own intelligence. Can I just tell you that some days it was like a war zone in our home? There were days where we really did make steps to end the marriage. Insults were thrown around, things were done out of emotion, those were really dark days...I honestly did not believe we would survive or that the marriage would last. This went on for about 2 years.....then I met a couple who became like lifelines to us. With their help and guidance we were able to see that we had left God totally out of our lives. At that point, even though I had been raised in church, in a family that was full of faith, I felt like I did not even know how to get back on track with God. Now, they did not quote scripture to us everyday, they didn't make me feel like I had to pray for hours on end, they just steadily breathed life and friendship back into us. After several weeks, they started talking about how we needed God to come in the relationship and re-establish our hearts to make us more like Him.

It was a long process, it did not happen over night. We had setbacks along the way....when I look back at that time in our lives it feels like I am looking at two different people, strangers almost, compared to how we are now. We did come back to Christ. We did re-establish our priorities and our lives to line up with the Word. It was difficult, there were things in our hearts that were hard to give up. There were hurts and wounds that felt like they would never go away. But you know what, the closer I got to God, the better it felt my relationship with sweetie became. When I realized that my happiness did not depend on him, but instead depended on my relationship with God, it changed my entire outlook about marriage.

We had to learn to be intentional about finding time for God. That meant that maybe I needed to look at my schedule and see where my real time wasters were....you see we do have time for God, but sometimes we choose not to use tidbits of time that we have to spend with Him. It was cold hard truth to realize that my time was being wasted on lots of things that I thought important. Bu,t there is nothing more important for my marriage than for me to be in the presence of God, receiving strength for the day, joy for the journey, and peace that He has all things in His control.

I am glad that I can tell you that today, we have a happy marriage. We still face life's challenges, just like all of you, but our relationship is solid because of our relationship with the King. He makes our foundation strong, He helps us to walk out our Biblical roles that He designed for us. His spirit saturates the relationship. His presence bring peace instead of turmoil, comfort in times of sorrow, eyes to see my sweetie through the eyes of Christ, a heart that instead of wanting to lash out at my life's companion wants to pray for him and wants to see my shortcomings revealed that are maybe contributing to the issue at the moment.

Your relationship with God is one of the absolute best things you can do for your marriage....it will make you journey here so much sweeter...

Today's Vow: To Seek the Will of the Lord
The Challenge: Consider ways to invite Jesus into your marriage and make a conscious effort to pray for your husband often.


Regina

Day 3...Priorities

 Here we are at day 3, so far so good right? Have you noticed your thoughts about your marriage changing any yet? Are you more aware of how you think about and you respond to your spouse? I do see and notice changes in my day to day thoughts and hopefully  you do too. I have lost some readers along the way by writing about the Ultimate Marriage Vow, while I hate to see them go, I feel that marriage is an important institution and anything that we can do to help each other improve or enhance our marriage relationships is important to share.

Do you know what is important to your spouse? Do you think that they share the same priorities as you do? Hopefully in raising a family, finances, spiritual life, you do share common goals and priorities. But, what about those little things in life, that maybe set your spouse on edge and you just don't understand why? Things like leaving the toilet seat up, not placing socks in the laundry hamper, leaving the bathroom light on all night? Those things don't seem like much, but oftentimes it's those little things that wear down a relationship.

I will tell a big one for me.....laundry. Can I just say that I absolutely hate doing laundry??? It is the bane of my existence! I am not the laundry queen....never have been. I would rather do anything, than fold and put up clothes. I will wash every dish in the kitchen by hand if it meant I never had to do laundry again....are you gaining an understanding of my dislike for laundry?

   Now that is not to say that my family is walking around with dirty underwear, they are not....I do the laundry, but sometimes I put it off, saying  that it be there tomorrow for me. And, when you have five people in the house, that seem to change clothes like there is no tomorrow, trust me it will be waiting on me when I get up. Throw into the mix that our dryer died......can at least get an "awww?"

 But the laundry is a higher priority to my sweetie....he does not share my philosophy of "it will be there for me tomorrow." On occasion he has gotten up to go to work and his shirt is not pressed.....to him it is the very end of his existence....to me, not so much, when you can press it quickly and he can be on his way...

But how many disagreements and long sighs could we avoid if I would just take the time to press it for him ahead of time? You see, when I don't have his shirt ironed, he feels like I don't think that he is important. Over time, those feelings build up, then what do you have? The volcano will erupt. Is that what I want for my relationship, a cycle of tension building up over a shirt when I could simply avoid and put to rest the whole thing through a few minutes spent when the shirts first came out of the dryer?

Look not every man on his own things,
but every man also on the things of others.
~ Philippians 2:4

What would happen to our relationships if we really practiced this verse? It may not be the laundry for you, it may something else. I read a story about a family with 8 kids. All 8 kids were able to make their own peanut butter sandwhiches. However, in the process, the peanut butter jar would become gooey. Then when the husband wanted to make a sandwhich the jar would send him over the top....and the wife felt like he should understand that they have these children and thats just the way it had to be. Then she realized that the thing she thought important, the living room, was always kept clean and neat. There were no toys in there, there was no eating in there, it was kept pristine. It occurred to her, that she could keep this room immculate, but not have the time to wipe down the peanut butter jar....now she has the cleanist peanut butter container in town and much less stress in her relationship. She began to value her husband's priorities above her own.

And that is what I have done about the laundry.....it was just a habit that I had to get into of tending to the clothes when it was needed and not waiting. I determined in my heart that if it was important to sweetie, it was important to me. And, along the way he bought me a new dryer to make my life easier.....

Today's Vow: To consider your priorities as I would my own.The Challenge: Place those things that are the most important to him at the top of your list. 

We do this all the time with our friends and co-workers, but today let's do this for our spouse. I can't wait to hear your results!

Another day on the journey
Regina

On to Day 2 of the Ultimate Marriage Vow

 So how are you doing with the marriage challenge? I found day one to be easy for me, after all carving out time for a moment of friendship with my spouse is something I want to do anyway...today's challenge though is maybe not so easy for some, and maybe for others you will breeze right through.

As we go through this 21 day marriage challenge, I am including pictures of me and my sweetie and our journey together, hope you enjoy them! Today's pic is from Easter 2009 at my parents house....

Today we are talking about our thought life....you know the more we dwell on a situation or problem the bigger the issue seems to be, and it becomes a cycle and a place that our mind automatically goes when we place it in the idle position. As Christians, first of all, we cannot afford to just let our minds idle along, we need to be intentional about out thought life. What does the Word say about our thoughts?

Philippians 4:8

King James Version (KJV)

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

So today when you think about your spouse, what are thinking of them? Do you only see their flaws or areas where improvement is needed? Or do you see a man that works hard for his family, that gives unsacrificially? Does his nagging habit of leaving his drink cup by the bed every night send you over the top? or do you see a man that even after working all day made some time for his children? It all depends on how you view it. 

Sometimes we get so caught up in the day to day routine of raising a family and making a living that we don't notice the beauty that is all around us. The things that God created, and yes that means your spouse, are beautiful. Your sweet one was fearfully and wonderfully made by God, created uniquely to be your companion for life. Sometimes we forget that, we don't notice the beauty that is evident in their smile, their laugh, their tenderness, their compassion, their understanding. My cousin shared a story the other day that he had read....

"A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?"

What areas of great beauty are we missing out on in our spouses?

I believe that the majority of us don't get out of bed with the intent to infuriate our spouse. I believe that for most of us, our intentions are good, we want to love like Christ, we want to see people (including our spouse), as God sees them. But sometimes, we fall into the trap of only focusing on flaws and bad habits, forgettting that we too have areas for improvement, weaknesses and shortcomings and that it is only the grace and mercy of God that keeps us from falling victim to those weaknesses. 

Today's Vow: To accept your flaws with understanding and grace as you also do mine.
Today's Challenge:
Keep negative thoughts in check by reminding yourself that we're all human saved only by the grace of God.

This is a big step on our journey but let's take it together,
Regina