What...Do I Look LIke a Door Mat?? Day 6

 I know that today's post is a sensitive issue for some....but if we are going to have lives that reflect Christ, we have to accept all of His ways and not just a few. I will admit right off, that this topic was difficult for me as well, not so much anymore...but it took a while for me to get there on my journey.

What I am talking about? Wives submitting to their husbands. I can see you cringing already. This is not a popular belief, but it lines up with the Word of God and needs desperately to be brought into the light once again. Before I go further, let me clarify for you that submission is not being walked on by your husband, nor does it mean that it is ok for husbands to abuse their wives in any form. But, when we choose to submit, we are really more like Christ than at any other time.

Let's look at what the Word says.... 

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. ~ Ephesians 5:24-25

You see, marriage is actually a picture of Christ and His church. Christ is the head of the church, He gave Himself up to the cross for the sake of the church. He was tortured,  He was rejected, He was spit upon....He went through all of that to redeem mankind back to Himself. So when we say husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, that is not a light sentence they have been given. A man will sacrifice for his family until it hurts. When we see burning buildings, or tragic scenes, more often than not, we will see the men running in trying to save people. Not that there are not women who have done this, but it is more common to see the man do this act. Men oftentimes show their love by showing sacrifice. My sweetie is not big on lots of words when it comes to showing affection or love, but he will go without things that he needs in order that I have what I need or the children need. No one has to asks him to do it, it just seems to be part of who he is.

But for women, we don't want to talk about submission....remember yesterday, we all have that natural instinct to want to "win!" Someone has to step back and extend grace and many times this falls to the woman. Both of us cannot lead the marriage. My Dad used to say that anything with two heads is a monster. I don't want my relationship to look like that do you?

What does it look like to be submissive to your husband? Let me give you an example. Let's say you and your spouse are having a discussion where you just don't see eye to eye....a submissive wife will state her opinion calmly and respectfully to her husband, but the final decision will rest with him. Now a loving husband will take into consideration the opinion of his wife and look to what is best for the whole family, but the weight of the decision rests with him. 

Submission is a choice we make. We make that choice because of our desire to be obedient to God. I want to be obedient to Him in all that I do, so even when it is hard for me to step back sometimes, I have to remember that the reason I am doing this is because this is what God said is right for wives to do. It may not be what I want, it may feel like I am not the "winner" but I have to see the big picture of things. I have to trust that if I am faithful to God, that He is faithful to me. I have to believe that he works all things together for my good (Roman 8:28).

Do not feel that you are second class....You are not and not every argument is your fault. But there will be times when we communicate in every way possible, and our husbands still don't see things the way that we do.That's when we can honor God by stepping back in humility and letting our husbands take the lead. 

Today's Vow: To honor you as the head of our home
The Challenge: While you honor your husband as the head of your home, seek ways to encourage him in his role as a leader.

Praying for all of us today as we make this step on the journey....
Regina

Day 5....Winners and Losers

Make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you
to the interests of the others.

~ Philippians 2:2-4

 

 How does this relate to our marriage relationships? That is what we want to look at today and how that relates to our communication in marriage. 

Many times I have heard women talk about "winning" an argument with their spouse. We want to be "right" regardless of the damages that may occur in the process. But, when it comes to marriage, we are both on the same team, so their are no winners or losers. It's one thing to want your opinion to be understood, but, we confuse that with the need to be right at times....those are two different things. 

We have to be willing to extend grace and mercy to each other...remember day 1, we are both flawed people only redeemed by the grace of God. Someone has to take the high road, someone has to drop out of the argument and go to God with it in prayer, in doing so we let go of our anger and our need to be right.


Today's Vow: To Give Up My Need to Be Right
The Challenge: Let your voice be heard, but put down any weapons of warfare. Practice holding your tongue when you're angry and carrying your burdens to prayer.

 Remember, that while we have the best intentions of taking these challenges, we are still very much a work in progress. We make mistakes, but don't let that make you stop trying to take steps to improve your marriage....

Be Blessed!
Regina 

Our Journey This Week

This week was amazing! Here is what it looked like at our house...

Family Life: On Monday night the BCS game was on and Alabama was playing. Sweetie is from Alabama so of course we were watching. Our oldest son and grandson came over to watch it as well. I made some fun foods... Read my You've Got to Try This post.....Our little grandson is about to turn 4. We had a blast playing with him...Hot Wheels, coloring, games, snacks...it was a great night.

Homeschool: On Tuesday we started back with schooling. We accomplished so much this week. My middle guy is making great progress in Pre-Algebra. He also had two projects this week, one was to make a poster against the pollution of oceans regarding the Antarctic Fur Seal and debris collars. The other one was find out all that he could about the state of New York for geography class and make a presentation. He did a fantastic job on both. My baby girl continued learning new letters and the sounds they make when placed with vowels, read sentences, learned how to express a question, learned more addition facts, counting by 10s, and handwriting. To review different concepts she has learned, I made a squirrel out of some dark brown cardstock and some acorns out of another shade of brown. If she recognized the letter, sound, blend or word, she then got to hunt for an acorn in the living room and "feed" it to the squirrel. She thought it was a lot of fun.

Food: we made this awesome Gooey Chocolate Skillet cake. It was amazing served with with vanilla bean ice cream and caramel sauce. That night my middle guy cooked spaghetti for dinner for the family and I prepared fried cabbage with bacon and onion....it was a feast!

 this taste as good as it looks

 this one could have been meal in itself!


Marriage: Right now we are taking the 21 day Ultimate Marriage Challenge...See Day One Here. We just finished Day 4 (Day 2, Day 3, Day 4). See the links if you want to follow along, it will really make a difference in your relationship!

 What I am Working on Now: Back in the fall I found this bulletin board about the size of a small blanket throw, at the thrift store. I bought it for $10 with the intention of turning it into a flannel board for school. I finally found a flannel blanket just the right size yesterday at the same thrift store for $2, which I bought. I got a can of spray adhesive, and covered the board last night. I also stopped at the Hob Lob where they have felt squares for 4/$1...I purchased lots of colors. So, my plan is to cut the numbers, letters, math signs, and objects out of the felt so that during lessons, baby girl can have hands on activities to concrete what is being taught. I need some of them by tomorrow but I am in the middle of a fibro flare, and not able to really cut things out right now. My hope is that I will get it done before bed....I will keep you posted!

 

Looking forward to next week, when we continue on with the Ultimate Marriage Vow, I hopefully find new recipes to treat my family too, and we continue on the journey in home education...

I hope you have a great Sunday afternoon!

Regina